Sydney cyclist Gareth Clear is adamant that his iPhone is responsible for his melting his pants and giving him a gruesome third-degree burn on his butt.
According to the Daily Mail, the 36-year-old was mountain biking Sunday with his phone in his back pocket, when he fell off his bike and onto his arse.
At first he was like “I’m cool mate!” but then he was all, “What’s that burning flesh smell?”
Those may not be real quotes, but the pain that our mate Gareth felt was as real as you or I, as it dawned on him that his short-shorts were melting and smoke was “pouring from his rear,” as the Daily Mail poetically put it. “It was freaking painful,” he said.
After burning his fingers trying to remove the phone explosion that was happening within his pants, he decided to use his fist to “punch” the phone off his burning flesh. Yes really.
But what fate transpired for our fallen hero? Well, he was taken to the Royal North Shore hospital for a skin graft, and now faces about six days attached to a grafting machine which will effectively suck the dead skin out. Omg.
“It’s a tragedy waiting to happen,” Gareth told the press. “A mini bomb.”
So concerned is Gareth for the safety of other people whose iPhones might meet similar fiery ends, he’s set up a Twitter account and started following Apple CEO Tim Cook, Apple’s support centre account and a bunch of news outlets.
Apple have apparently been in touch with Gareth and are looking into the arse-burning incident but have provided no further comment.
While we may have our questions about our nylon-clad comrade’s claims (such as why was he wearing his iPhone on his arse pocket while riding a bike? And where is all the blistering?) we wish him all the best.
Get well soon, Gareth!